{"id":17112,"date":"2017-04-26T08:46:31","date_gmt":"2017-04-26T15:46:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112"},"modified":"2017-04-26T08:55:54","modified_gmt":"2017-04-26T15:55:54","slug":"13-reasons-why-topics-that-need-to-be-discussed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112","title":{"rendered":"13 Reasons Why: Topics That Need To Be Discussed"},"content":{"rendered":"

I finished watching 13 Reasons Why yesterday. \u00a0It was a show I wasn’t planning on watching and while I was watching thought of so many reasons why I shouldn’t continue to watch it. \u00a0It isn’t one I will be recommending (especially for teenagers) for various reasons including: the dragged out storyline, not enough focus on mental illness, the obscene amount of F words, the graphic scenes of rape and suicide and many perceived while watching, the glorification of suicide. \u00a0You can have these discussions without watching this show and I feel like do a better job. \u00a0These are topics that are brought up and not talked about enough that I feel NEED to be talked about with your kids, your friends and your family.<\/p>\n

Mental Illness<\/strong>. \u00a0I was on the last episode last night when one of my friends posted about wanting to end her life. \u00a0I immediately reached out to her and was able to get her to a safe place. \u00a0She is not a teenager, so my first thought on this is that we need to not only recognize that suicide affects teenagers, but adults as well. \u00a0Mental illness affects ONE in FOUR adults in the world and ONE in FIVE American adults. \u00a0Look around you. \u00a0Someone you know and love is the one in five. \u00a0Maybe it is you. \u00a0It is me. \u00a0I have generalized anxiety disorder. \u00a0 \u00a0It is something I am working on being able to manage and it is a daily struggle. \u00a0It isn’t something I am ashamed of anymore-it is something I can’t control, but there are ways I can lessen it’s effects. \u00a0Talking about it and not making mental illness taboo is our first step. \u00a0Having a great support system of friends and counselors is one of the things that helps me. \u00a0Exercise and eating healthy also helps lessen my anxiety. \u00a0I was on medication for about a year and after finding one that was working for some time, I soon found it to make me extremely tired all day long. \u00a0So for right now, I am going without daily medication and starting therapy for anxiety. \u00a0Wish me luck!<\/p>\n

Rape Culture<\/strong>. \u00a0Rape is an epidemic in our world. \u00a0In America a woman is raped every TWO minutes. \u00a0One in five women will be raped in their lifetime and 97 percent of rapists never face incarceration. \u00a0 Most women don’t report when a rape occurs. \u00a0This show did bring up a good point in their after show episode that I wanted to talk about. \u00a0One of their experts on there talked about how in sexual assault situations you will fight, flight or freeze. \u00a0Freeze was something I hadn’t thought of before, but it makes total sense because when I was sexually assaulted by a student teacher in high school, that is what I did. \u00a0He grabbed me and I was in shock of what just happened and wasn’t able to scream, run or say anything. \u00a0After I told a friend what had happened and long story short, we found out it was happening to many girls at my school, we were able to identify him (none of us had seen him before in the school), and we went to trial. \u00a0He was found guilty of lewd acts and then the charges were dropped later because of a technicality that had nothing to do with the actual trial. \u00a0Looking back what happened after the assault was more damaging than the actual act, so I can see why women and men are afraid to come forward. \u00a0We need to make safe places for people to come to when these situations happen. \u00a0 The Younique Foundation<\/a> is an organization for those who have been sexually assaulted you can reach out to.<\/p>\n

Consent<\/strong>. \u00a0No means no, stop means no and yes, but now I changed my mind still means no. \u00a0I have many friends who were date raped. \u00a0We really need to talk more about this because it happens SO MUCH. \u00a0It is RAPE. \u00a0Say that with me. \u00a0Date rape is RAPE. \u00a0It does NOT matter what you are wearing, if you are flirting, if you are on a date, if you invited that person over….it DOES NOT mean they have the right to sexually assault you in ANY way. \u00a0In the after show a woman brought up a good talking point. \u00a0You need to clearly ask if it is ok to have sex with your partner-like “Is it ok to have sex with you?” \u00a0If they say no or don’t say YES, the answer is NO. \u00a0If they are unconscious or very intoxicated, the answer is NO. \u00a0If they tell you to stop, even after saying yes, the answer is still NO. \u00a0Talk to your teenagers about this. \u00a0Tell them no one has the right to touch their body in any way, especially without their consent. \u00a0With younger children we need to address this topic as well. \u00a0They need to know that if anyone is touching their body that it isn’t ok and they need to tell a trusted adult. \u00a0Our bodies are our own and NO ONE has a right to them. \u00a0If you have been sexually assaulted you can call 911 or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE. \u00a0RAINN<\/a> also has a lot of information on what to do after an assault.<\/p>\n

Bullying<\/strong>. \u00a0Why does it seem to get worse? \u00a0You would think we could learn to be nice to people. \u00a0Sadly it happens EVERY day. \u00a0Talk to your kids about what it looks like and what to do if they see it happening. \u00a0If they feel unsafe speaking out during the incident, tell them to go to a safe adult and tell them what happened. \u00a0If they see cyber bullying, they need to report it. \u00a0We lose too many of our children because of bullying. \u00a0Sadly adults do it too. \u00a0Call out bullies of all ages. \u00a0Don’t stand for it. \u00a0Reach Out<\/a> has some great tips on what to do if you or someone you know are being bullied.<\/p>\n

Suicide<\/strong>. \u00a0One thing I learned from the after show is it is important to change our words. \u00a0Instead of saying committed suicide, say completed suicide. \u00a0We need to talk about it openly and let our children know that feelings like this are only temporary and it DOES get better. \u00a0There are so many resources out there to help you and your loved ones if you or they are having suicidal thoughts. \u00a0Here are some tips for talking to someone who is suicidal.<\/p>\n

Do:<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Be yourself.<\/strong> Let the person know you care, that he\/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.<\/p>\n

Listen.<\/strong> Let the suicidal person unload despair, ventilate anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.<\/p>\n

Be sympathetic,<\/strong> non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his\/her feelings.<\/p>\n

Offer hope.<\/strong> Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.<\/p>\n

Take the person seriously.<\/strong> If the person says things like, \u201cI\u2019m so depressed, I can\u2019t go on,\u201d ask the question: \u201cAre you having thoughts of suicide?\u201d You are not putting ideas in their head, you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it\u2019s OK for them to share their pain with you.<\/p>\n

But don\u2019t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Argue with the suicidal person.<\/strong> Avoid saying things like: “You have so much to live for,” “Your suicide will hurt your family,” or \u201cLook on the bright side.\u201d<\/p>\n

Act shocked,<\/strong> lecture on the value of life, or say that suicide is wrong.<\/p>\n

Promise confidentiality.<\/strong> Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.<\/p>\n

Offer ways to fix their problems,<\/strong> or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it\u2019s hurting your friend or loved one.<\/p>\n

Blame yourself. <\/strong>You can\u2019t \u201cfix\u201d someone\u2019s depression. Your loved one\u2019s happiness, or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.<\/p>\n

Source: Metanoia.org<\/em><\/p>\n

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the anonymous National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741 and talk to a crisis counselor. \u00a0You are NEVER alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I finished watching 13 Reasons Why yesterday. \u00a0It was a show I wasn’t planning on watching and while I was watching thought of so many reasons why I shouldn’t continue to watch it. \u00a0It isn’t one I will be recommending (especially for teenagers) for various reasons including: the dragged out\u2026<\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/span><\/i><\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17113,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1636],"tags":[1782,1781,1780,1696,1777,1778,1783,1776,1785,1784,1779],"class_list":["post-17112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-justice","tag-13-reasons-why","tag-anxiety-disorder","tag-mental-illness","tag-rainn","tag-rape","tag-rape-culture","tag-reach-out","tag-sexual-assault","tag-suicide","tag-suicide-hotline","tag-the-younique-foundation"],"yoast_head":"\n13 Reasons Why: Topics That Need To Be Discussed - Terra Cooper Wedding Photographer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"13 Reasons Why: Topics That Need To Be Discussed - Terra Cooper Wedding Photographer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I finished watching 13 Reasons Why yesterday. \u00a0It was a show I wasn’t planning on watching and while I was watching thought of so many reasons why I shouldn’t continue to watch it. \u00a0It isn’t one I will be recommending (especially for teenagers) for various reasons including: the dragged out\u2026 Continue reading\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Terra Cooper Wedding Photographer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/terracooperphotograpy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-04-26T15:46:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-04-26T15:55:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/18056838_10208751368514750_1112610636554693482_n.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"686\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"960\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0f46b4fe3a26b115401683038448b1\"},\"headline\":\"13 Reasons Why: Topics That Need To Be Discussed\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-04-26T15:46:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-04-26T15:55:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\"},\"wordCount\":1449,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"13 reasons why\",\"anxiety disorder\",\"mental illness\",\"rainn\",\"rape\",\"rape culture\",\"reach out\",\"sexual assault\",\"suicide\",\"suicide hotline\",\"the younique foundation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"social justice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/terracooper.com\/?p=17112\",\"name\":\"13 Reasons Why: Topics That Need To Be Discussed - 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