Building a relationship {adoption}

The first time we met Lauren and Matt was on December 6th.  We had been texting and emailing before that, but hadn’t talked on the phone.  We were both so nervous…like pretty much from the text that Lauren asked us if we could meet I don’t think I slept or ate well.  We text each other about how nervous we both were, how we were stressing out about what outfit to wear.  We both went and got our hair done before and I bought the boys new clothes.  She apologized in advance for being awkward and shy and I apologized in advance for talking really, really fast.  😀  Matt and Josh said they weren’t nervous at all, just excited.  Well, Josh put out three outfits for me to choose what he wanted to wear and Matt went and got a hair cut, so yeah, I don’t think they are as tough as they said they were ;D  I remember driving the over an hour drive to the adoption agency and thought I was going to throw up a few times.  I don’t ever remember being more nervous for anything in my life.

When we got there we went into a room with our case worker and Matt and Lauren came in a little later with theirs.  We all hugged, sat down and just looked at each other.  We thought the case workers were going to start talking, and then no one did.  It was pretty awkward for sure at first!!!  Her caseworker did finally start talking and I can’t remember anything really that we talked about except for some reason we found out that Josh and Matt had matching wallets (Eagles wallets).   They brought the boys in later and Caleb talked a lot and Corbin was shy as usual.  After we went to Cafe Rio and that went a lot better.  We just had to get that initial meeting out of the way so I could breathe again.  I text Lauren later about just being able to breathe because apparently, I hadn’t for like a week.

After our first meeting Lauren and I decided to have a girls day.  We went and got pedicures and went to one of my favorite places to eat, Les Madeleines.  They have my FAVORITE pastery in the world, the Kouing Aman.  Ok off topic, but I kind of love food ;D  I found out that day that Lauren gets lost really easy–something that still happens, haha.  It was awkward for a while.  We tried to get together when we could–we went to Les Miserables, ate avocado eggrolls at the Cheesecake Factory, went and did (ok tried) to do some genealogy to find out more about our shared ancestors, more eating of good food, and some shopping.  The more we were together, the easier and more natural it was.  We had some awkward moments and still will in the future I’m sure (mostly when other people don’t understand our situation and ask really awful questions), but we will be fine.  We realize every adoption is different.  Everyone has different relationships and how they do things.

We had almost six months to build our relationship.  I am SO grateful for the time we had.  I feel like the last two weeks she was pregnant were the time we bonded the most.  She had taken her maternity leave early (thinking Alayna wouldn’t be a week late!!) and she was at my house almost everyday.  We had a few sleepovers, Revenge marathons, lots of belly pictures and lots of good bonding time.  We had a lot of honest talks-even though some were hard to have.  I am so grateful that my best friend Tara was in town because having her with us made it even more fun and I really don’t know how it would have been without her there.   A few days before her due date we started trying almost all of the methods to induce labor (pressure points, Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, driving up to Snowbasin and back, jumping on our trampoline, going on walks, walking up hills, foot zoning, smelling oils, foot messages, etc)…which didn’t work, or took 6 days to work!  We learned we had no control over the situation–how true that was.

A few days before Alayna was born we even helped her brother with a surprise proposal.  We almost got caught by them as we were put his guitar and some flowers in the garden…twice.  Poor Lauren was running, over 40 weeks pregnant, with me as we were trying to hide.   Still after that, Alayna didn’t want to make her debut.  I am also grateful for the time I got to bond with some of her family.  It made what was to come so much easier.  No one could have ever prepared me for what was to happen at the hospital.  I know every situation is different-I only have my story.  More on that to come.

Read more:

Learning Through Trials {adoption}
Family Ties {adoption} 

Comments are closed.