Our adoption {FAQ’s}

So I thought I would write a little about OUR adoption.  I know that everyone’s situation is totally different.  Everyone does things in different ways, but I am just going to answer some questions that most people ask me about OUR adoption.

1.  “Is it an Open Adoption?  What does that mean?”   Yes.  We are doing and Open Adoption.  Open Adoption can range from letters, emails and pictures to home visits, coming to family parties, etc.  OUR adoption will be more like the later.  We have a very open adoption.  We have our birthparents over at our house.  I talk to our birthmom everyday and we have become really good friends.  We feel like they are an extended part of our family, and right now that is working for us really well.  I love that my boys tell Lauren, “You are part of our family right now, right?”.  I love that we have a close relationship.  I love that there can be so much love, even before the baby even is here!   I often get weird looks from people when I tell them how open we are going to be, but in OUR situation, it feels right.  It feels good and I am so grateful it is the way it is.  It is perfect for US.

2.  “So is it a done deal?  You get the baby for sure, right?”  Adoptions vary from state to state on when it is final.  In Utah Termination of Parental Rights {TPR} cannot be signed by the birthmother until at least 24 hours after the baby is born.   Birthfathers can sign before the baby is born or at placement.   Many birthmothers choose to sign TPR when they are discharged from the hospital and some choose to do it at an agency.  They get to choose when and where to do placement and can even take the baby home until they are ready to do it.   They always have the right to change their mind and choose to parent until signing the TPR.  Adoptions in Utah aren’t actually final for at least 6 months.  During the six months the agency technically has custody of the baby.

3. “So is she a young mom?”  Our birthmom is 19.   On average birthmoms that place babies are between 18-21 years old in Utah.  Many moms that are 15-17 choose to parent and grandparents often help out with parenting.  Most birthmom’s are not as young as most people think they are.

4.  “Did you know each other beforehand?”  We did not.  Lauren found our profile on LDS Family Services Adoption Website, It’s About Love.   We found out soon after we shared the same last name (my maiden name) and we actually have the same 4th great grandfather who was from Scotland.  At first it was like any other relationship-trying to get to know each other.   Now it feels like she has been in our family forever and I can’t imagine her not in our family.

Those are the three things that I get asked most.  Hopefully that helped shed some light on our adoption, as well as adoptions that are happening all of the time around you!   We have been waiting (patiently…ok maybe not) for this baby girl to arrive.  She is now 2 days over her due date-but no signs she is coming any time soon-despite our efforts this last week!  She has tried foot zoning, acupressure, spikenard oil (smelling it apparently breaks your water…it did not), walking, going up stairs, bouncing on a trampoline, driving up to Snowbasin late at night (only saw one deer next to the road…so glad he decided to stay there), bouncing on an exercise ball, eating a lot of Mexican food (ok Lauren just loves Mexican right now and eats that everyday anyway-haha), food messages…so yeah despite our efforts, this little girl wants everyone to know she will come when she is ready….or evicted by being induced 😀  It did give us time to take lots of belly shots of Lauren in the last two weeks.  Here are just a few:

Here are a few more posts I did about adoption:

Adoption Love

Lauren

We’re Adopting!

Meet some of my other friends who are hoping to adopt below:

Tara and Sam

Katie and Eric

 

Feel free to leave a comment or ask more questions below!  I love talking about our adoption!

Now go check out my gorgeous friend Kelli West’s new head shots by the amazing Erin Summerill.  LOVE them!